Dear Parents,

Sometimes parents, especially of young children mention to us that their kids complain about coming to class. The parents acknowledge that the kids like the class once they are here; yet the parents worry that they may be losing interest.

In many cases, the child is not telling you he or she doesn’t like the classes. Often, he or she is demonstrating that they are “Present Focused”. At early stages of development, kids are not always able to project their thinking into the future, and weigh the potential for future enjoyment and future benefits. For example, if you offered a young child a dollar now, or twenty dollars in a month, they will choose the dollar now, and it’s immediate gratification. They have not developed their ability to visualize the goals that they will be achieving in the future. To deal with this, first of all, understand that the child may be delighted with the lessons, and still demonstrate this behavior.

My Child Complains About Coming to Class…
What Should I Do…?

Talk with your child… not when he is complaining, but at a later time. Explain to your child that you will no longer accept complaints about his or her commitment to take karate. Explain that karate is not an activity, but a place of learning just like regular school. Tell your child to speak to the instructor of Master Phillips or Mr. Wynn or Mr. Boyd. By doing this, you have given your child a grown up approach to addressing any real problems. You are also reinforcing the importance of stick-to-it-ness and commitment, characteristics that will pay high dividends later in your child’s life.

Our program will educate and motivate your child to have a positive attitude about achieving goals, both short and long term. In order to do this, we must have a firm commitment from the parents to present the child twice a week. If your child complains, hold your hand up and say you made a commitment to addend karate classes twice a week. I will no longer accept complaints!! If you have complaints about your class, let’s set up a time to speak with your instructor!! When your child does come without complaining, let him or her know how much this pleases you! Being firm and consistent now will make a difference in the future!!!

- Master Gary Horner

Resources For Parents

More Reading for Parents

Parent's Suggested Reading List

The 12 Codes of Black Belt Parents

News articles about Phillips Korean Martial Arts Studends

Child with Down's syndrome learns focus through karate in New Port Richey
- Tampa Bay Times

Festival puts gymnastics, cheerleading and martial arts under one roof
- Tampa Bay Times

Building Good Character Worksheets

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1.Black Belt Parenting
by Solomon Brenner
ISBN: 0-9146308-02

“You will learn: the art of challenging, how to be a good role model, goal setting for children and young adults, achieving and maintaining focus, coping with stress, how tom use language to communicate, not confuse, preparing for an uncertain future through “pre-framing” positive outcomes”.

This is a great book for All Black Belt parents… - GH

2.Why is everyone picking on me?. A guide too handling bullies.
by Terrence Webster Doyle
ISBN: 0-8348-0467-0

This book is for young people who are concerned about being bullied. This book can assist parents, teachers and counselors who are searching for ways to help young people peacefully confront hostile aggression.

Dr. Doyle is the author of the “Bully Buster” program we use as part of our youth self defense program. he has several excellent books for young people. - GH

3.The Secret Power Within
by Chuck Norris
ISBN: 0-553-06908-x

Chuck Norris tells his story of success from his martial arts success to his movie and personal successes.

This is a great book for teens and adults alike. Stories about his vision, perseverance and his key to success. - GH

4.Respect, the Martial Code of Conduct
by Terrence Webster Doyle
ISBN: 0-8348-0514-6

The latest award winning martial arts for peace series teaches young people ages 4 to 9 about respect, one of the most important goals of the martial arts code of conduct.

This is a great way to reinforce our team relationship with your child. - GH

1. Watching your child in class is like observing them in regular school. Please do not interrupt or interact with your child during class. This is disrespectful to the instructor and disruptive to the others in class.
2. Talking or having a conversation with other parents is distracting to the students and the instructor. Other parents watching their children are also distracted by talking. Please go outside to engage in conversations.
3. Keep younger children under control and quiet while watching class. Crying, screaming and restless children can be a major distraction to the class. Black belt parents know this and take these children outside during classes.
4. If you drop off your child for class, pick them up at the end of their class. We can not watch your child while classes are in session. If you are detained, please contact us and let us know.
5. Parents are asked to practice the rules and policies of the school. When mom and dad follow the school rules and regulation, their child will most likely follow their example. This begins at the door, bowing and greeting the instructor, no food or drink (only water), and observing the rules.
6. Listen to the instructor’s lessons and announcements; reinforce their positive behavior at home. Parents are part of our school’s team and help their children to improve by working with the instructors and staying informed.
7. Students are all individuals and will progress at their own rate. Never compare a child to their sibling or another student. Encourage and support each child’s progress and help to set and achieve their goals.
8. Remember why your child is here to begin with. Health, self defense and becoming a better person, are the three main reasons for training. Memorizing forms and techniques are not that important, only their improving as a person and personal growth and success.
9. Any question or concerns about their child’s training, progress, or about the school, they should go directly to the instructor, NOT to other parents. Do not engage in gossip, or negative conversations.
10. Parents are encouraging to all the students in the school during class, and all other events. Through your example, our students will learn to encourage and support everyone in our school.
11. Make sure that you and your child demonstrate respect and courtesy when attending Tournaments and other martial arts functions. Avoid confrontations with judges and other parents. Show respect and courtesy is a great way to teach your children to be good sports, whether they win or lose. Any and All concerns should be discussed with your instructor at an appropriate time.
12. Help your students set and achieve their goals in and out side the dojang. Parents know that goal setting will help your children develop perseverance and self discipline needed to honor commitments and achieve their goals.